I usually don't
think much about years, at the end of one. I can remember what we
did, in what year, but I've never thought of years as good or bad.
Until now. 2015 was bad.
Oh, as every year,
there were the good times on vacation or hiking with my wife, and the
always too short time spent with my daughters. There were parties
with friends, concerts and beer. But, this year, the good didn't
make up for the bad in the final tally. I was humbled to discover my
inadequacy to assuage grief, and struck dumb before the anguish of my
sister, my wife and our niece and nephew.
I am, gratefully,
aware that this would have been much worse without the thoughtfulness
of others. Several times the day was saved by the wisdom, and
perspective, of my children. Days when there was nowhere to turn, I
had the ear of my sister and a couple of close friends. The very
existence of a couple families in our lives brought normalcy and
sanity just when it was needed.
I've experienced
grief before. I've lost best friends, both parents and other
relatives, but the one-two punch of Francis and then Peggy and the
exponential complications accompanying her loss had us reeling.
Hell, we even lost our cat!
It didn't get any
better looking out into the wider world. Religious fanatics, racists
and ordinary lunatics are slaughtering people all over the world.
Our political leaders are no help. They indiscriminately bomb and
assassinate all over the world, with no regard to innocent
bystanders, then wonder why they lose the propaganda war. Old
fashioned racists are being legitimized by demagogues and the
weapons industry is handing any crazy from child soldiers in Africa
to terrorists in Europe to head cases in America a gun.
Looking forward, its
a soiled nest we're leaving our descendants. While the glaciers melt
and the climate changes before our eyes, what passes for statesmen
are denying science itself. In their lust for political and
financial gain, in the short term, they are destroying the
inheritance of their offspring. They are bequeathing a dumber
country and a hotter, wetter, more volatile planet. Geez, the
future's not rosy from this perspective!
OK. I'll pick my
self up, crack open a beer, head out for some music and set off some
fireworks. As my sister says, “what choice do we have?”
But, I miss Francis.
I miss Peggy. And I miss Socks. Piss off, 2015!
